I woke up this
morning with my son asking me to make breakfast, thought it was a good idea so
started cooking. In the middle of cooking my kids both decided they wanted to
crack some eggs. I didn’t like to be distracted while cooking so I got
frustrated with them. While getting frustrated I did a little too much for them
when I could have talked them through what they needed to do. Also I remember
getting frustrated thinking “there is not enough room here” as I found it a
little difficult to move around and organize what I was using while cooking.
After serving
breakfast I was getting a little frustrated as my son wasn’t sitting down to
eat and the both of them were only really picking at the food after a while it
became apparent food would have to be thrown out I thought “what a waste of
time”.
So later on my son
is playing on the computer and my daughter starts bugging him and she is
grounded from the computer, his scream causes an immediate reaction in me as I
cringe, I get angry and remind my daughter she is grounded from the computer
and tell her to stop bugging him.
My son asks me to
put a movie on for him and it’s a movie he’s been watching the last two days,
so I go into a reaction of dread rolling my eyes. My son has been sick the last
couple days which has us stuck in the house and I have been charging up
frustration with them all day.
Most of the rest
of the day I spent finding myself things to keep me busy, I got a little
frustrated a few more times as my son screams if his sister gets in his face
while he is into something his scream just sends a shock through me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
a request from my children while cooking to an emotional experience of
frustration.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself a desire
to have things go according to my plan and try to manipulate the situation
through reacting in frustration.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become
frustrated through judging a request from my children as a distraction.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
being in confined space to an emotional experience of frustration.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think
“there is not enough room here”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
having limited space to move and organize to the thought “there is not enough
room here”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself having
limited room to move and organize to exist as a trigger point within me, which
triggers the thought “there is not enough room here”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
wasting food to an emotional experience of frustration.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
my kids not eating their breakfast to the thought “what a waste of time”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself watching
my kids not eat their breakfast as a trigger point within me, which triggers
the thought “what a waste of time”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
my son screaming to an emotional experience of anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
my daughter not following my rules to an emotional experience of anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to
participate within an emotional experience of anger.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
my son asking to watch a movie we’ve seen repeatedly to an emotional experience
of dread.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the
physical reaction of rolling my eyes towards my sons request to watch a movie
and judging him for the request.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to charge
up an emotional experience of frustration towards my children throughout my
day.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect
my son screaming to an experience of shock that feels like it shakes and
vibrates within me.
When and as I see myself go into an emotional experience of
frustration when having my children show me I’m distracted in my mind I stop
and breathe. I realize it is me that accepts and allows myself to be distracted
in the mind and become frustrated and I must take self responsibility to bring
myself back ‘here’ in physical.
I commit myself to stop participation within emotional
experience of frustration while my kids request something during a task and
further investigate the nature of the reaction that came up and apply self
forgiveness when able, so as to not miss an opportunity to support my kids.
When and as I see myself become frustrated by lack of space I
stop the reaction and back chat and breathe myself back to the physical. I
realize these reactions can bring consequence of lack of self movement.
I commit myself to stop participating within the back chat
and frustration when I perceive myself to have limited space so that I may
direct myself to be effective.
When and as I see myself notice my kids not eating a meal I
slow myself down and be sure to stop any reaction within me breathing here in
the physical. I realize the frustration causes friction between my children and
myself.
I commit myself to stop participation with frustration and
any reaction towards my kids not eating so that I may become a more effective
parent.
When and as I hear my son screaming, I stop and breathe and
direct the situation while clear of reaction. I realize by having an emotional
reaction to my son screaming I may react irresponsibly and will be hindered
from directing the situation effectively.
I commit myself to stop participation with frustration and
anger towards my son screaming so that I may support him effectively.
When and as I see myself reacting to my daughter not
following rules set for her I stop and breathe. I realize allowing myself to go
into anger with my daughter will cause friction between us and put unnecessary
pressure on her.
I commit myself to stop participation with anger towards my
daughter when she is not following the rules so I may direct myself effectively
as a parent.
When and as I see myself go into an emotional reaction to my
children asking to do something that bores me I stop and breathe. I realize
participating in this kind of emotion keeps me from self direction while
charging up emotion.
I commit myself to stop participation with emotional dread
towards my children so I may direct situations effectively.
When and as I see myself rolling my eyes toward my children I
stop and breathe myself back ‘here’ to the physical. I realize I don’t like it
when someone rolls their eyes at me and that I am showing that I am passing
judgment when I do this.
I commit myself to stop participation with rolling my eyes
and passing judgment towards my children so I may parent more responsibly and I
commit myself to further investigate why I make such judgment and apply self
forgiveness to clear myself from showing and reacting in judgment.
When and as I see myself having charged myself up with
frustration towards my children throughout the day I stop and breathe and
practice self forgiveness. I realize constantly allowing myself to charge
myself with frustration can create consequences of lack of self direction and
cause friction in my daily living.
I commit myself to no longer allow myself to leave the
charging of frustration unchecked so I may become effective in my daily living.
When and as I see myself reacting to my son scream I stop and
breathe and I realize this shock from the scream is just me being distracted
from existing within and as a mind.
I commit myself to take note of why I am lost in my mind self
honestly when my son’s screams send a ‘shock’ through me.
